Today Sami and I were at the swimming pool, and she was delighted when another little girl showed up and wanted to play. The girls were playing on the pool steps and I heard the girl-Her name was Jasmine-ask Sami if she has a brother. Very matter-of-factly, Sami replied, "Oh, no. I don't have a brother here. I DO have a brother but he is in heaven. He is in heaven with God." Jasmine was a bit perplexed and kept asking over and over, "Are you SURE your brother died?" and then she yelled across the pool, "HEY MOM, HER BROTHER DIED!" The funny thing is, this whole conversation didn't bother me at all. Sami had said exactly what I have hoped she would say if anyone asked her about Jesse. She wasn't bothered by the little girl's questioning, and I know that Jasmine was just trying to wrap her brain around the idea that Sami's brother had died. Her mother, on the other hand, was very uncomfortable and finally told the girl to be quiet. I wasn't sure if I should explain to her or what so I just kept my mouth shut...but now I wonder what she thought.
The neighbors downstairs had their baby, a boy. I haven't seen him yet, or heard any crying. I want to take them the formula that came in the mail shortly after Jesse's due date and ask if they can use it, but I don't want to have to explain why. I don't think I want to explain. A little part of me wants them to know what we've been through. I guess it'll always be that way, wondering what others think if they do know, or how they would react if they did know.