In Loving Memory of Jesse Gabriel Kammerzell

Your precious feet left tiny footprints in our hearts...

Friday, August 6, 2010

Yes, I'm ready.

This week I went to visit a dear friend and her week-old baby. I was unsure of how I'd react to him but wanted to visit them anyway before school starts. It helped that she was so kind and asked me if I was okay seeing him before hand. Somehow what seems like the smallest gesture, just acknowledging that I may have conflicting feelings about it and asking if I was okay, made it all okay. More than okay! It was the best thing I could have done, I think. I held this tiny, tiny baby (I swear his head is hardly bigger than my fist) and I'm not sure how getting peed on can melt your heart, but that's exactly what happened when this little guy leaked all over me! (His mom was mortified, but it was all good.) If anything, I think that it solidified my feeling that yes, I really am ready. With all the emotions it will bring, I am ready to be pregnant again, to believe that we will have our little baby in our arms soon. And when it does happen for us, it will be all the more special, and I will embrace it, pee pees, spit ups and all!

1 comment:

  1. I am so glad that you were comfortable in seeing him and then even holding him! I wasn't sure how it would go. I know everyone is different with situations like this. I was so happy that you came to visit! I hope and pray everyday that you will be able to hold your own little one soon. Thanks so much for coming to visit! Love you!